Understanding Anxiety in Children Who Struggle with School

As Founder and Director of Hugi, one of the most common things I hear from families is, “My child is anxious about school, but I don’t fully understand why.” For many children, anxiety around school is not always easy to recognise or explain. It doesn’t always look like worry or fear in the way we might expect. Sometimes, it looks like refusal. Sometimes, it looks like anger. Sometimes, it looks like shutting down completely. But underneath it all, there is often the same feeling, something doesn’t feel safe.

What Does Anxiety Look Like in Children?

Anxiety in children can present in many different ways, especially when it is linked to school. You might notice: Difficulty attending school or reluctance to leave home Physical symptoms such as tummy aches, headaches, or feeling unwell Emotional outbursts before or after school Withdrawal, shutdown, or appearing disengaged Increased sensitivity to noise, people, or expectations Changes in sleep, appetite, or mood For some children, the school environment can feel overwhelming, unpredictable, or simply too much to manage.

Looking Beneath the Surface

At Hugi, we always look beyond the behaviour. Anxiety is not a child choosing to be difficult, it is a child struggling to cope. There are many reasons why school may trigger anxiety: Sensory overload in busy environments Social demands that feel confusing or exhausting Difficulty understanding or processing language Fear of getting things wrong Feeling unsafe or misunderstood Previous negative experiences linked to school When these experiences build up over time, anxiety can grow, making it harder for a child to attend or engage.

When School Becomes Too Much

For some children, anxiety reaches a point where school no longer feels manageable at all. This may lead to: Persistent school avoidance Emotional distress linked to attendance A loss of confidence and self-belief Increased pressure at home for the whole family This can be incredibly difficult for parents and carers, who often feel unsure of what to do next.

A Different Approach

At Hugi, we understand that before a child can engage in learning, they need to feel safe. We provide a calm, therapeutic environment where children can: Reduce anxiety and feel more settled Build trusting relationships with adults Experience success without pressure Begin to re-engage at their own pace Our approach is influenced by Hygge, creating spaces that feel warm, predictable, and nurturing, helping children to relax and feel secure.

Supporting Children Through Anxiety

There is no quick fix for anxiety, but there is a way forward. At Hugi, we focus on: Reducing demands where needed Building trust through consistent relationships Supporting communication in all its forms Creating positive experiences of being with others Celebrating small steps and progress Over time, children begin to feel more confident, more regulated, and more able to engage.

Supporting Families Too

We know that anxiety doesn’t just affect the child, it affects the whole family. That’s why we work closely with parents, carers, schools, and professionals, offering support, understanding, and clear communication throughout. Families are never on this journey alone.

Moving Forward

With the right support, children can begin to manage their anxiety and move forward in a way that feels safe and achievable. For some, this may include a gradual return to school. For others, it may mean a different pathway that better meets their needs. What matters most is that the next step is right for the child.

Final Thoughts

If your child is struggling with anxiety around school, it is not a sign of failure, it is a sign that they need support. Understanding what sits beneath the anxiety is the first step towards helping them. Because when a child feels safe, understood, and supported, things can begin to change.

Tracy Rodgers Founder & Director, Hugi / Tiny Hands Big Futures